Blogging While Paused

I’ve asked for no butter and gotten no popcorn. I’ve asked for no pickles and gotten no burger. Or fries. Or onion rings. Not even any soda in my cup! But this might be the worst offender yet (and it’s certainly the last time I tip the delivery guy without inspecting the goods). I asked for no anchovies and got no pizza!

I don’t know how these incidents keep happening to me, but it’s ridiculous! They give me most everything except what I really want. I reach into the take-out bag, I find a bun slathered with ketchup and mustard—and pickles!—but no meat! Add to that an empty holder for fries, an empty box for onion rings, a cup with a straw and no soda or ice, and two stacks of napkins and you’ve got one insulting “meal”. I ask for popcorn with no butter at the movies along with a bunch of candy, and they give me a bucket of butter with no popcorn. As I sat down, before I realized what was in the bucket, I dropped all my candy in it. That was disappointing. I’ve even ordered a game online listed as having “no instruction book”. What did I get? I got an instruction book with no game! That’s the last time I order from “the_purple_prankster94″.

This time I just got a plain old mess. Inside my cardboard box was pepperoni, extra cheese, garlic, onions, green peppers, red peppers, chili peppers, fries, black olives, and anchovies (notice anything?). But no pizza! No tomato sauce, no normal cheese, nothing you could call pizza! And I hate to tell you how I found out what was in there. I carried the box to my kitchen upside down. It opened and my order fell to the floor _right_ where I was stepping. Seriously, my foot was coming down and gravity somehow caused that mess to win the race to the floor. Naturally, I slipped and landed in it on my back. Of course, there was no single solid mass holding everything together or anything, so I had to scrape everything I could salvage off the floor and onto my plate.

You can imagine how unpleasant it is trying to eat a pile of toppings without a solid pizza for a foundation. I tried adding some oregano part way through, and then I just dumped some tomato sauce all over it. I also broke out some of the vintage soda-lemonade mixture I’ve been experimenting with. None of this made up for the lack of actual pizza. They even got mud in it somehow! I couldn’t let it go to waste, of course, but it was still a rather dissatisfying thing to have for dinner. Next time you get a pizza (or anything, for that matter) that’s been put together properly, be sure to be a little extra thankful.

WAHAHAHA!

The internet is so much fun! I love it! I truly love it! Today I went on the internet and found all these really cool games that involved falling down stairs, launching stick-figures, poking cats, defending castles and flying helicopters!

The wealth of knowledge on the internet is amazing! But the craziest thing is that people are giving away these games for free! For FREE I say! Don’t these people realize anything about game selling? They could be making fortunes right now! I would gladly pay $10 an hour to poke virtual cats!

Since everyone seems to be giving these games away, I figure I will simply steal them …er… borrow them… and put them in my next WarioWare game! It’s absolutely brilliant! I won’t have to think of a single thing myself, I can simply take all the fun games that people already play and package them all together in one easily overpriced affordable bundle!

If anyone else has a great idea for a game, let me know! I would be more then happy to add it to my collection of games! This is going to be perfect! Wonderful! WAHAHAHA!  Thank you all!