Blogging While Paused

I thought Luigi was the one who got stuck all the time. I’d be willing to venture that being lost inside a structure is the same thing as being stuck there. It started when I was, uh… escaping—I mean, attending, uh, leaving—a business meeting with some locals in the alleys. As I waited around a corner for them to run by, I ran into an old green rapper lady. (I think she was a rapper anyway; she spoke in apparently pre-meditated rhymes.) She showed me a treasure map and said it led to rare stuff that is incredibly difficult to find. I was a bit skeptical that eggs and ice (real ice, not diamonds) were rare treasures, but she assured me that they were really valuable. I bought the map, loaded up some supplies for the trip, and took Wario to the place the map said to start: an old  [ Read More ]

This is an outrage! I looked at the Smash Bros blog a while ago, and you know what I found out? I’m not in the starting line-up. I’m not a secret character. I am an assist trophy. Now at first this wasn’t all that terrible. At least they took the time to draw me with all that detail. They even got my good side. But you know what really did me in? Guess what I saw when I checked it two days ago? They added Pikmin & Olimar to the starting cast! I mean, seriously! This is unbelievable! Did you read what he said about the Pikmin? Oh, yeah, and try this one on. You got a quarter? Go get a quarter. Hold it up. That’s how tall the space captain is. And the Pikmin are smaller. Come on! This guy has appeared twice since 2001, and I’ve been going  [ Read More ]