Blogging While Paused

This is really starting to bother me. Yoshi and I are good pals, we go way back, but recently I have heard a rumor that more people think that Yoshi is cuter than I am. Now I am pretty darn cute and I’m not saying Yoshi isn’t, it’s just that… well, I don’t think he could ever be as cute as I am. Here’s why: Yoshi is green. Look at the poor kid, with a body that green you can’t help but feel sorry for him. green is just a hard color to love. Yoshi has a big nose. Has anyone taken a moment to look at Yoshi’s nose? You can’t miss it, even if you wanted too! It’s the size of a walrus! I know he can’t help it, but I mean, it’s just far too large to be cute. Yoshi wears a saddle. This indicates that Yoshi is  [ Read More ]

My body is numb. I feel all tingly. I think I played two dozen soccer games today… which I estimate to have sent roughly 18 hundred Gig-a-watts through my poor body. Every time I got the ball I was smashed into the wall. I finally began running away from the ball, but even if I was on the opposite side of the field, there was always someone there shoving me against the electric fence of a wall. I have 3 dozen bones in my body. I counted them. I had ample opportunity to count them. I could see every one of them glowing bright white inside of my quickly cooking body. I’m beginning to smell like sautéed mushrooms. Maybe I should just go bathe myself in butter.