Blogging While Paused » Master_Chief

One minor thing

Master_Chief — Sun, 28 Aug 2011 10:30:17 +0000

You know, few people truly understand me. It may be from the fact that I don’t speak, let alone explain my reasonings. Do you think I enjoy headshotting grunts for hours a day using a high caliber sniper rifle? Don’t get me wrong, I do. Most of the time. Sometimes, I come home with a sore shoulder or blown ear drums or yet another set of plasma burns. Trust me, that gets old really quick. Then, of course there’s the occasional misfired rocket. You try sleeping with the feeling of falling at terminal velocity and you might know how I feel. So, next time you slide Halo 3 in and pick up a controller, try to consider I might want to have a day to myself.

Cryogenics

Master_Chief — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 00:39:57 +0000

Cryogenics is a really crappy way of passing the time. You’d think that it’s kinda like sleeping, well, it is… kinda. You’d also think that you’re not suppose to feel like time is passing. At least, that’s what they tell you. But I’m pretty sure the cryo chamber is damaged, because I can still sense that time is passing… for pete’s sake, I’m writing a freaking blog post about it!

I’m not going to lie, it’s really boring. It’s really, really boring.

It’s like a billion freaking years of nothing! I dare you to try it. I dare you to try it for 10 minutes. Go, grab an egg timer, turn off the TV, turn off your music, dim your monitor, set the timer for 10 minutes, close your eyes and wait. Wait until the timer goes off.

I’ll wait for you.

How was that? Did you last the whole 10 minutes? Did it seem like a year? Did you fall asleep? I challenge anyone to sleep for a year solid.

I just hope someone finds me soon. This got old a few months ago.

I hate colds

Master_Chief — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 02:02:22 +0000

I got a cold the other day. Not just a normal cold, one of those filthy ones where your head becomes a snot factory and your nose has a constant flow of mucus running out of it and you sneeze every five and three quarter minutes.

Let me tell you, snot and armor don’t mix well. When I sneeze inside my helmet there is snot everywhere. First off, I can’t see out my visor anymore. Hopefully I don’t need to see where I’m going or even where I’m shooting. Because it’s all a blur. That’s not all though. It gets worse. The snot is traveling so fast when it hits the visor it bounces back and instantly my eyes, my mouth and my ears are all full of snot which then oozes down my body and eventually pools on my feet.

I can’t tell you how good a nice hot shower feels after spending a day drenched in your own snot.

If anyone knows a good way kick a cold, drop me a line. I’m really tired of lubricating my suit with mucus.

I hate noobs.

Master_Chief — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 17:28:52 +0000

The only thing I hate more than noobs, are noobs who think they can take on Legendary. These people come in, having never played Halo before. Never! In fact, some of them have never even played a first person shooter. This is the generation that grew up on Pokemon.

And it’s killing me.

Literally.

Legendary is called “Legendary” for a reason. And this reason is: IT’S REALLY FREAKING HARD!!! Let’s not forget that. Legendary is a mode made for people who spend their entire life playing Halo and have become so good at the game that they can play through the entire thing blindfolded. And even then, it’s a challenge!

When these newbies come on and start playing Legendary, I die. Not just once, no, I die multiple times. Over and over again.

Dying is painful! I’m not going to lie. Getting shot in the head 18 times in a row, is not only humiliating, but very painful. It hurts! I’m assuming most of you have never been shot in the head. In fact, most of you have never really been shot at all. But this is my life. I am constantly being shot at, and I am constantly shooting back. But if I am at the mercy of someone who doesn’t know what they are doing, I’m going to get clobbered.

So do me a favor, stick to the easier levels until you know what you are doing. Please!

Not Today… How About Tomorrow?

Master_Chief — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 12:00:12 +0000

I really don’t wanna be here today. I have this killer headache and it is really getting in the way of my concentration. I had a bad night last night, couldn’t sleep, and today, of all days, we get to play Halo. Charlie hasn’t played Halo in months, and to be quite honest, he’s not really that great. That doesn’t bother me though. I don’t mind playing the same level a few times because I keep getting killed, what bugs me is the fact that I have this stupid headache, right in the front of my forehead and now I have to run around shooting baddies.

I am really tired and I really can’t focus. I don’t even know what level I’m on right now, that’s how out of it I am. The only thing I do know, is that there is a plasma grenade stuck to my helmet and the second Charlie decides to unpause, I’m a dead man. Though, knowing Charlie, he’s probably going to try to record the dumb thing and put it up on YouTube.

I really wish you could see my face right now. Because the annoyed stare that is plastered on my face is so utterly perfect, I really can’t describe it. I won’t have to though, because in another minute I’m dead. Then I can re-spawn with an even larger headache, and go through the whole deal again.

I tell you… <...transmission ended...>