Blogging While Paused

All right, I’m willing to admit it. Let’s chalk the “Gourmet Race” up as one of my worst ideas ever. I thought I had everything set up nicely. I figured that my opponent would be distracted by all the food in such obscure places. That would give me a chance to run the straightest path to the goal and grab the moderate amount of stuff that was along the way. I made sure that winning the actual race was worth a lot more than just the food. The thing is, though, for a blob that does nothing but eat and float, Kirby is… a lot faster than you would think. He ate EVERYTHING! AND he won! Look at what it’s done to me! I’m burning a lot of energy out there with no food to make up for it! I must have lost at least 15 pounds since we started.  [ Read More ]

Okay, now some people (who will remain nameless, Meta Knight) have been asking me why I use such an ‘impractical’, ‘dishonorable’ and ‘clunky’ weapon as a hammer. And why I don’t use a more ‘honorable’ and ‘king-like’ weapon such as, say, a sword. Listen. I’m the king. I’m not going to let whats-his-face-orn or whosit-idas tell me how to be a king. A king that lets someone tell him what to do ain’t a king, he’s just some idiot with a crown! No! I’m a king, a true ruler. And I wanted to forge my own legacy, and I chose the hammer to do that with for a good couple reasons. First of all, those little hammer things that judges use? Gravels? No, gales? No… okay, gavels! That’s what they’re called. Anyways, those things, when they come on down on the little wood thingy (I’m not up to looking that  [ Read More ]

I’ve got to get this off of my chest: I feel like my fan base has really turned it’s back on me. I mean, I know you guys and gals love me, but you have NOT been showing it lately. OK, so now everyone is freaking out. “OMG, did we miss his birthday?” (Yes.) “What new Dedede game did we miss? Which voice actor don’t we know about?” No, no, no, no, it’s nothing like that. Everyone knows what I’m talking about. They’ve all seen it, heard about it, and about 87% of you lifeless nerds have played it. Rather, played them. I’m talking about the Super Smash Brothers series. The first game was pretty cool. I thought it had a decent amount of characters with different abilities. My favorite was probably Link, or maybe Captain Falcon. However, something bugged me about it a lot. I was supposed to be  [ Read More ]

By Royal Decree, I declare that a tournament of Avalanche shall be held, in my honor. The rules shall be simple, when you meet with anyone, you shall challenge them to a game of Avalanche. The winner of that game will be eligible to continue on, until they have come, undefeated, to me. Where I will then pummel him into the ground. Should I actually be beaten in this game, the winner shall receive the largest trophy ever commissioned in the land, as well as a monetary prize that shall be paid out in the game currency of the winner. Let the games commence!