All right, all right. Maybe it’s not the best idea ever. I sort of miss the action I saw from DK64. But it’s still a lot cooler than some of the recent games I’ve been getting. No need to worry about pounding the heck out of a pair of drums, because I get to pound the heck out of EVERYTHING ELSE!!!

It’s awesome to have the feel of the old Donkey Kong Country games back. I mean, if you think about it, the last time I was really playable in one of those was the original! That was years ago! But the fact that they brought back some of the old songs from that game really makes me feel like I haven’t been gone at all. They found some cool uses for lots of old favorite things, like the Banana Coins and the KONG letters. I can’t get enough of those Banana Potions at the old man’s shop. (Now if I could just figure out some kind of secret to get rid of him…)

But I think what I like most of all is the way Diddy and I can play together. Sure, the two-player cooperative thing is a nice touch, but when he’s on my back, you really get the best of both of us. It really feels like playing both of us at once!

There’s really not much bad I have to say about this game. See if you can stomp on a bunch of foes in a row–good things start to happen after 3!

Don’t believe me? Just check out this awesome paper craft!Подаръци

H-H-H…Here we go! So they’re finally here, performing for you
If you know the words, you can join in too
Put your hands together if you want to clap
As we take you through this fun-ky rap!
HUH! D. K.! Donkey Kong!

He’s the leader of the bunch.
You know him well.
He’s finally back to kick some tail!
His coconut gun can fire in spurts
If he shoots ya, it’s gonna hurt!
He’s bigger! faster! and stronger too!
He’s the first member of the DK crew!
D. K.! Donkey Kong! HEY!
D. K.! Donkey Kong is here!

This Kong’s got style, so listen up dudes!
She shrinks in size to suit her mood!
She’s quick n’ nimble when she needs to be
She floats in air and climbs up trees!
If you choose her, you won’t choose wrong
With a skip and a hop, she’s ONE COOL KONG!
D. K.! Donkey Kong!

He has no style, he has no grace
This Kong…has a funny face
He can handstand when he wants to
And stretch his arms out just for you!
In-flate himself just like a balloon
This cra-zy Kong just digs this tune!
HEY! D. K.! (D. K.!) Donkey Kong!
D. K.! (D. K.!) Donkey Kong is here!

He’s back again, and about time, too
And this time, he’s in the mood!
He can fly real high with his jetpack on…
With his pistols out, he’s one tough Kong!
He can make you smile when you hear his tune…
But, Kremlings beware ’cause he’s out after you!
D. K.! Donkey Kong! D. K.!
Donkey Kong! D. K.! Donkey Kong!

Fi-nal-ly, he’s here for you!
It’s the LAST member of the D. K. crew!
This Kong’s…so strong, it isn’t funny!
Can make a Kremling cry out for Mummy!
He can pick up a boulder with relative ease
Makes crushing rocks seem such a breeze
He may move slow; he can’t jump high
But this Kong’s one heck of a guy!
Hehehe…

Come on Cranky!
Take it to the stage! Walnuts, peanuts, pineapple smells! Grapes, melons, oranges, and coconut shells! Oh, yeah! Walnuts, peanuts, pineapple smells! Grapes, melons, oranges, and coconut shells! Oh, yeah!

Those were the good old days, riding rhinos, swinging on vines, collecting banananananananas… Ah, bananas! I love bananas. I’m not happy with these new gigs that my agent is throwing my way… Donkey Kong-a? Get real! It’s like a bunch of drunk PR people came up with the “cute” (read: very not cute) idea to use my name as some sort of sick pun. My agent, being the kind hearted moron he is, signed up me up then goes to tell me that this game is going to take off like a NASA rocket! He was dead wrong, what more can I say.

Actually, I think the biggest problem came when Microsoft bought our Rare. I tell you, I had around 6 dozen apes and gorillas with picket signs trying to boycott the deal. We had internet campaigns and a ton of TV ads, the problem is first that apes and monkeys don’t watch TV or use the Internet. The second problem is that Microsoft doesn’t listen to animals, even if the Animals are capable of developing better software… …please don’t send me hate mail… …I really didn’t mean that.

Well, I’m off to go throw my drums in the trash… again…