Blogging While Paused

You’re not alone Mario. The rest of us are still loved too. (Well… most of us… )

Don’t believe me? Just check out this awesome paper craft!

I don’t know about you guys, but when I think of my favorite video game song, it’s definitely the DK Rap. This song is simply a classic. I listen to it about 37.5 times a day as I do my monkey workout. It totally gets the blood pumping. It makes me want to sing. It’s a compulsion, I can’t help it… I just gotta… just gotta… oh man, I’m in the groove!

H-H-H…Here we go! So they’re finally here, performing for you
If you know the words, you can join in too
Put your hands together if you want to clap
As we take you through this fun-ky rap!
HUH! D. K.! Donkey Kong!

He’s the leader of the bunch.
You know him well.
He’s finally back to kick some tail!
His coconut gun can fire in spurts
If he shoots ya, it’s gonna hurt!
He’s bigger! faster! and stronger too!
He’s the first member of the DK crew!
D. K.! Donkey Kong! HEY!
D. K.! Donkey Kong is here!

This Kong’s got style, so listen up dudes!
She shrinks in size to suit her mood!
She’s quick n’ nimble when she needs to be
She floats in air and climbs up trees!
If you choose her, you won’t choose wrong
With a skip and a hop, she’s ONE COOL KONG!
D. K.! Donkey Kong!

He has no style, he has no grace
This Kong…has a funny face
He can handstand when he wants to
And stretch his arms out just for you!
In-flate himself just like a balloon
This cra-zy Kong just digs this tune!
HEY! D. K.! (D. K.!) Donkey Kong!
D. K.! (D. K.!) Donkey Kong is here!

He’s back again, and about time, too
And this time, he’s in the mood!
He can fly real high with his jetpack on…
With his pistols out, he’s one tough Kong!
He can make you smile when you hear his tune…
But, Kremlings beware ’cause he’s out after you!
D. K.! Donkey Kong! D. K.!
Donkey Kong! D. K.! Donkey Kong!

Fi-nal-ly, he’s here for you!
It’s the LAST member of the D. K. crew!
This Kong’s…so strong, it isn’t funny!
Can make a Kremling cry out for Mummy!
He can pick up a boulder with relative ease
Makes crushing rocks seem such a breeze
He may move slow; he can’t jump high
But this Kong’s one heck of a guy!
Hehehe…

Come on Cranky!
Take it to the stage! Walnuts, peanuts, pineapple smells! Grapes, melons, oranges, and coconut shells! Oh, yeah! Walnuts, peanuts, pineapple smells! Grapes, melons, oranges, and coconut shells! Oh, yeah!

Forest life rocks. You don’t know how awesome it is to live in a jungle. It’s amazing. The only thing better then living in the jungle is a side scrolling game. You may think I’m a bit off the wall with this, but I’m serious. Side scrolling is great, I don’t see why they don’t do more of it. Just because you can have a three dimensional world doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. Don’t get me wrong, Donkey Kong 64 was an amazing game, but I’m still a big fan of the classics. The first original Donkey Kong Country was one of the greatest games to grace the world. (Just because I am a bias source doesn’t mean my opinion is useless!)

Those were the good old days, riding rhinos, swinging on vines, collecting banananananananas… Ah, bananas! I love bananas. I’m not happy with these new gigs that my agent is throwing my way… Donkey Kong-a? Get real! It’s like a bunch of drunk PR people came up with the “cute” (read: very not cute) idea to use my name as some sort of sick pun. My agent, being the kind hearted moron he is, signed up me up then goes to tell me that this game is going to take off like a NASA rocket! He was dead wrong, what more can I say.

Actually, I think the biggest problem came when Microsoft bought our Rare. I tell you, I had around 6 dozen apes and gorillas with picket signs trying to boycott the deal. We had internet campaigns and a ton of TV ads, the problem is first that apes and monkeys don’t watch TV or use the Internet. The second problem is that Microsoft doesn’t listen to animals, even if the Animals are capable of developing better software… …please don’t send me hate mail… …I really didn’t mean that.

Well, I’m off to go throw my drums in the trash… again…