Blogging While Paused

That’s right. I eat pie. I love pie. I just can’t get enough pie. I’m a pie snob. A connoisseur of pastries. (You don’t become the King of the Koopa’s by eating salads and munching lettuce.) Now, I have some of the best pie and pastry cooks hidden away in my various castles. At least, that’s why I try to keep them. Until someone gets it in his mind that he wants some cake. (I won’t make a cake joke here, but I know you’re thinking it.) A good Peach pie is much better than one of her cakes. When you’re king, you really get a taste for food. You know what’s good and what’s not. You get treated to the finest dining in the whole created universe. A low brow plumber doesn’t know a thing about food, and if all he is craving is a little of Peach’s cake,  [ Read More ]

I don’t know what they have been putting in the air these days, but it sounds like somethings going around about Mario and I going golfing on the weekends. Apparently there is a big hubbub over this or something. I don’t know much about what the whole argument is, but I just thought I would chip in and say a few words on behalf of golfing, mainly because I like to golf. I like to golf. Golfing is a good sport. You get to enjoy nature for what nature is, see the clouds, the trees, the birdies. You get to walk for several miles and shoot the breeze with your comrades. It is a great way to relax and have fun. If you’ve never tried it, I would suggest that you go out and give it a shot sometime. (Pun intended.) Or, if you don’t have a nice sunny day  [ Read More ]

So I was out golfing the other day and apparently people are saying that my whole “Kidnap the Princess” gig is getting old. It’s not fun anymore, it’s not funny. It’s not politically correct. I don’t know. I don’t know if I trust Donkey Kong and Yoshi as great sources, but every now and then they get something right. To be honest, I love the gig. I think it’s freaking hilarious to see the look on Mario’s face when he realizes… “oh not again.” I mean, my timing is perfect. It’s just like the punch line of a joke. Just when he’s about to go spend some quality time with Peach, BAM! I’m there, and I make him jump through somewhere between 38 and 120 hoops before he can see her. I also love the Toadstools.  They rush around like caffeinated chickens with their heads cut off. It’s really funny.  [ Read More ]

I must be the worst boss ever. I mean, look at me! I kidnap a Princess, and hold her captive, IN HER OWN CASTLE! So I’m basically giving Mario home field advantage. He’s over at Peach’s place every other day, if you see where I’m going here. Fixing the plumbing, that kind of thing… … … … On top of that, the stars Mario needs to defeat me, are found in the pictures, in the castle. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what’s going on here! Then there’s my “helpers.” If you can call them that. These stupid bimbos waddle around all over the place, just waiting to be stepped on. All it takes is one foot and “POP”! There goes another goober. I step on about 3 of the stupid things just on my way to the kitchen for afternoon snack! Like these things will ever  [ Read More ]