Blogging While Paused

I like to think I’m a pretty good fisherman. I caught the record-breaking fish at the local pond, and the owner is pretty good himself. That sounds like it says something. But even pros have mishaps sometimes, and this one almost makes me feel like I never had any idea what I was doing. See, the owner keeps the biggest fish ever caught (mine) in a tank on the front counter. I stood ready to cast, with my back to the counter. Somehow, I let the line go on the back-swing. The owner dodged it like a ninja, but it landed in that tank. If that wasn’t ridiculous enough, the fish took the bait. As a kind of reflex, I jerked on the rod trying to get it out of there. I set the hook by mistake. So now, here I was with my biggest fish ever hooked in a  [ Read More ]

Okay, I’ve been at Donkey Kong Country Returns for a while now, and BOY! Am I mad! Don’t get me wrong, things started off just fine. DK and I were having a blast taking down anyone who got in our way. I had my Rocket Barrels and Peanut Popgun, so I was kind of running circles around him. Tried not to make him feel too bad. Then we got to the tough levels. It was getting kind of insane for both of us to navigate everything and still stay together, and DK was having trouble making it at all, so I hopped up on his back and used my Rocket Barrels to help him out. I felt… just plain useless up there! I went from buddy to backpack in an instant! I didn’t sign up for this just to be a spectator! I wanted to get in there and help!  [ Read More ]

Okay, can I just say that I think Donkey Kong Country Returns is the best idea ever?! All right, all right. Maybe it’s not the best idea ever. I sort of miss the action I saw from DK64. But it’s still a lot cooler than some of the recent games I’ve been getting. No need to worry about pounding the heck out of a pair of drums, because I get to pound the heck out of EVERYTHING ELSE!!! It’s awesome to have the feel of the old Donkey Kong Country games back. I mean, if you think about it, the last time I was really playable in one of those was the original! That was years ago! But the fact that they brought back some of the old songs from that game really makes me feel like I haven’t been gone at all. They found some cool uses for lots  [ Read More ]

I’ve got to get this off of my chest: I feel like my fan base has really turned it’s back on me. I mean, I know you guys and gals love me, but you have NOT been showing it lately. OK, so now everyone is freaking out. “OMG, did we miss his birthday?” (Yes.) “What new Dedede game did we miss? Which voice actor don’t we know about?” No, no, no, no, it’s nothing like that. Everyone knows what I’m talking about. They’ve all seen it, heard about it, and about 87% of you lifeless nerds have played it. Rather, played them. I’m talking about the Super Smash Brothers series. The first game was pretty cool. I thought it had a decent amount of characters with different abilities. My favorite was probably Link, or maybe Captain Falcon. However, something bugged me about it a lot. I was supposed to be  [ Read More ]

Hello my fast friends and slow fans. Just wanted to be THE FIRST to wish you a Happy New Year! As we begin another year I just want you know that I haven’t lost the touch. Some people (warning: strong language) have been saying I need to give up the saga for years already. But I’m still the fastest character SEGA has ever made and I still got years of life left in me! Maybe even decades! Anyway, just wanted to wish you a Happy New Year. Hope it’s a good one! Catch ya laters!