Blogging While Paused

I was tidying up my room the other day, and I found this account written on a page in one of my many notebooks by my bedside which covered one of the 14 degrees of art I have. (Woodrow Wilson scholarly my foot, but that’s a rant for another time!) Memories. Hmph!

3/8/2001
Well, now I’ve done it. While Mario was off on another of his adventures (I think he calls it “Paper Mario”), I secretly installed a trap door in the floor of the bedroom and constructed a cellar underneath it. I’ve been keeping a diary down there as my own little secret. Something to do while he’s away. So why aren’t I writing this entry in that diary, you ask? Two words: I’m stuck.

That’s right, while trying to drop through my trap door, I got stuck in it. I’ve actually been here for three days now. My periodic flailing has finally gotten me a notebook and a pen from a table to give me something to relieve the madness. So now I’m just waiting here for something to happen.

Mario hasn’t come home in weeks. I haven’t eaten, slept, or changed my clothes since I’ve been here. I miss my toes. I left spaghetti cooking before I went to the basement, foolishly believing I would be back in five minutes. The house is now fragrant with a light scent of spaghetti, mixed with a heavy dose of over used hot metal and burnt noodles. The pot of sauce has been overflowing, and the puddle grows closer to me every day (though I shudder to think what the kitchen looks like). I think I heard a meatball explode yesterday. Dust is gathering on every shelf I can see, and I long to clean them sooo badly. I left a window open, and birds have started to land on the window sill. My poor notebooks which I left by the window! Why do I leave them by the window?!

The next time Mario goes off to adventure, I’m finding some diversion to keep me out of the house. I’ll hire some help to take care of those dusty shelves while I’m gone, but I seriously don’t think I can afford to have this happen again. Maybe I’ll take a cruise and tour the Mushroom Kingdom. Maybe I’ll get lucky enough for a fair to roll by. Heck, if I have to, I’ll check
into a hotel in town and play tourist right here.*

Maybe if I’m really lucky, I’ll get a letter that sends me off on an adventure to a far away place.* Then I’ll be the one with many great tales while Mario
stays home to watch things. Then he’ll build and subsequently get stuck in a trap door and I’ll just laugh and laugh and laugh!*

All of a sudden I’m noticing things seem a lot taller. Is my malnutrition and lack of rest causing me to atrophy into shortness? Mario, if I don’t get out of this, I just want you to—————-~~~~~ (The rest of the page is one large scrawl as a result of falling through the trap door.)

Luigi’s notes:
I later wrote a short entry about this account in the diary I mentioned.

* 3/11/2001: Now that I’ve eaten and thought about it, it might make more sense to do this in some of the places Mario’s adventured through.
* 10/14/2004: I was shocked today when this happened. However, it turns out Mario got a similar letter just days earlier! (Paper Mario 2)
* 6/10/2007: I found this page again. Um… I didn’t mean the last statement that I put a star by, Mario. I was tired and hungry! Please don’t hold it against me!