Worst. Boss. Ever.
I must be the worst boss ever. I mean, look at me! I kidnap a Princess, and hold her captive, IN HER OWN CASTLE! So I’m basically giving Mario home field advantage. He’s over at Peach’s place every other day, if you see where I’m going here. Fixing the plumbing, that kind of thing… … … …
On top of that, the stars Mario needs to defeat me, are found in the pictures, in the castle. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what’s going on here!
Then there’s my “helpers.” If you can call them that. These stupid bimbos waddle around all over the place, just waiting to be stepped on. All it takes is one foot and “POP”! There goes another goober. I step on about 3 of the stupid things just on my way to the kitchen for afternoon snack! Like these things will ever stop anyone. Maybe they can “cute” him to death. Or maybe he’ll die laughing!
Then there’s a matter of hit points. You know how many hit points I have? Three. That’s right, three. Whoop-de-do! You know, I could stand to have 3 hit points, IF THERE WEREN’T BOMBS SURROUNDING MY ARENA!!! I mean, what’s up with that? Why in the world would I put BOMBS IN MY OWN ARENA!!! It’s not like Mario is going to run up and jump on them all by himself! I’m just totally asking to be killed. It’s like, “Hi, I’m a moron! Please kill me! Have a nice day!”
Gaaahh! I can’t take this anymore. I need to call my agent.
Posted by Bowser in RantComments Off