Blogging While Paused

So I’m paused while fighting the Omega Pirate, and I’ve been standing around for the better part of forty-five minutes now and I have basically come to the realization, that I have no friends.

It’s really rather sad. Here I am, risking my butt to save this stupid planet, when in all reality, there isn’t a creature on this planet that doesn’t want me dead! Why should I even get involved? What harm would come of just nuking the place?

See, this I don’t understand. When Link saves Hyrule, he’s saving the people there. Mario goes out to save Peach. Me? I go out and kill things that want me dead. Sure, I’m a bounty-hunter, but why can’t I just blow up the planet? If the planet goes, so will the creatures on it, no harm done to me. Job done, it’s party time! I don’t have to fight these bosses if I just blow them to high heaven.

I wouldn’t mind if there were people here to save. That might even be kinda fun. Playing hero to a receptive audience would be a great change of pace. I like the lone bounty-hunter work, but sometimes I am just looking to enjoy some company. It gets pretty lonely in these far reaches of space.

Maybe I’ve just been paused for too long.

So the Wii is out, and guess what? No Mario game! And what’s worse, no Luigi game!

When I heard the Wii was coming out I was excited. When I heard that Mario was not going to make it for the Launch I was ecstatic. I started waiting for my agent to call up with news about Luigi’s Mansion II or something like that. Imagine, swinging a Wii controller around like a flashlight. Is that not cool or what?

I wait for two weeks, don’t hear a thing from my agent, and decide to give him a call. Two weeks is a long time to not hear from your agent, especially when you think there is a new title for you to be in.

Me: “Hey, Charlie! What’s happening man?”

Charlie: “Hey… Luigi? How are you doing bud?”

Me: “Hey, the Wii is launching soon. You hear anything about a Launch Title?”

Charlie: “Wii Launch title? Hmm… I can’t say I have. I heard something about Link being in the Wii Launch. Nothing about you though.”

Me: “Oh.”

Charlie: “Are they really going to call it the Wii? That’s crazy! I don’t see how that’s going to sell.”

Me: “So any new gigs at all?”

Charlie: “Sorry Bud! Nothing new on my end. I was pushing for that Mario Part 23, or whatever it’s called, but Toad isn’t signing on. He says he’s getting to old for the party scheme.”

Me: “…”

Charlie: “Hey Bud, I gotta run! I’ll catch you later though!”

Man, I need a new agent. This is just crap. No new Wii launch titles. I mean, come on! I’m getting sick of the whole Mario Party scheme, but at least it pays the bills.

Zelda?!?! Zelda gets a launch title?!?! Come on! How many Zelda games do you need, wasn’t like three enough? Super Luigi World is bound to be the next big thing. Hey, I’d even settle for Luigi-ware Inc, or Luigi-Kart. Diddy Kong even has his own racing game… A bunch of jerks, the whole lot of them.

Maybe I’ll go start work on Luigi-Pinball…