Blogging While Paused

This is stupid. I’m sorry, but this kids a moron. Here I am, in the shadow temple, you would think he has a slight clue on how to actually play this game, seeing as he go this far to begin with. But no, let’s throw me off that cliff a few times, yeah, like I can make that jump! HELLO!!! YOU DON’T HAVE THE STINKIN’ HOVER BOOTS YET!! Kids these days. I almost glad when Navi starts talking to him, I mean, I don’t really wish Navi on anyone, but boy, this kid is really clueless. And now, here I am, dangling on the edge of this cliff while he just takes off and eats lunch. Sheesh, the least you think he could do is pull me up so I could rest my arms.

Maybe he won’t come back, then his older brother can come and we can actually get something done. It’s not like I have all the time in the world. Although maybe it would be better if someone will just hit the reset button and I can forget this whole nightmare. He killed me 5 times. 5 times! And I’m not talking boss battle kills, I’m talking: “Let’s jump off that cliff, because maybe I can make it across this time” kills. It drives me nuts.

You would think that a looser like this might actually be a decent gamer, I mean, if you spend 9 hours a day in front of a game console you expect some improvement, right? That’s usually how it works, I’ve seen it happen before! I’ve seen terrible players go from crappy to mind boggling awesome in a matter of three temples. Why can’t all gamers be this way, why am I always stuck with the losers?

I’m going through rooms with secrets hidden left and right, it’s so blatantly obvious that the walls can be bombed that even my grandma knows what to do… if I had a grandma that is. My history in this game is crappy. I don’t have a family, I don’t have a mom, I don’t even have a dad. I get a tree. Yippee, skippee. A tree, maybe I can celebrate Arbor Day or something. Nothing like being an outcast, it’s like the lonely hero. Why do I have to do everything myself? Look at Cloud! He gets a whole gang of people to help him out. The Donkey Kong clan gets to work together, even Mario get’s a brother. And I get a tree, a tree that dies 10 minutes into the stupid story. That just makes me angry.

Maybe I should just let go and drop to my death once more. It’s not like that kid is going to care. He probably forgot all about me as soon as he got to the top step. He opens the door to the kitchen and instantly I no longer exist. Eat some Mac and Cheese, go watch TV, mommy kicks him outside for a few hours and then sometime tomorrow he remembers that I’m still hanging on the edge of this stupid cliff hoping that someday he will learn how to actually use the controller to… you know.. CONTROL things…

Yeah, I’m sick of this….

EEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!